Get On Up (out the bed, it's 4:30am)
The necessity of being up at four-thirty AM falls somewhere between sadism and idiocy. Being awake at 4:30AM for seven AM business travel is clearly the work of the devil. Stuffed suits are shouting in earpieces and clutching their coffees for dear life, international grandmas are trying to make sense of the maze that is TSA, and the rest of us are simply fed up with life, wondering why in the hell we torture ourselves by showing up to a zoo like O'Hare and hoping we get a window seat so we can promptly fall back asleep before takeoff.
These little ditties are for you, weary traveler. You need a little pep in your step to get you out of the door and past the throngs of confused and angry fliers. Gulp your venti-choca-mocha-caramel-double-frap-no-foam-thingamawhatsit and do a little two-step in that mile-long security line.